Clear Sentences

Clear Sentences

13-4 Shifts

Original: A new neighbor often forms lasting impressions of the neighborhood because of the way they were treated when they first moved in.
Revision: New neighbors often form lasting impressions of the neighborhood because of the way they were treated when they first moved in.
We wrote the sentence like this because it is talking about plural new neighbors in the first sentence, but the second makes it more clear.


14-1 Choppy Sentences
Original: An instruction manual is enclosed with your computer. The manual is user-friendly.  
Combined Sentences: A user-friendly instruction manual is enclosed with your computer.
We put the two sentences together and rearranged its wording to make it more readable.


14-2 Choppy Sentences
Original: The aides help the students with reading and math. These are their weakest subjects.
Revised: The aides help the students with their weakest subjects, reading and math.
We put the two sentences together to have the two sentences to flow together.


 14-3 Subordination
Which Sentence emphasizes the length of time a residency takes?

A)    This highly specialized medical training, called a “residency,” usually takes four years to complete.

 B)   This highly specialized medical training, which usually takes four years to complete, is called a “residency.”
We chose option A because it gets straight to the point on how long a residency is.